And Pumpkin Spice coffee is back. That seems to be the official sign of Fall up here. ;)
I've always loved all of the seasons, with Spring and Summer being my favorites, really they ALL have such amazing and unique traits, yet in the past few years Fall and Winter have really grown on me.
I love the heat of summer (I'm one of those people who's always cold), I love no school, the vibrancy of color, flip flops, the cookouts and adventures, dancing outside with friends, the fairs, the flowers.. everything...
Winter is also more of a recent love for me, (What always held me back is that it's so cold!!). I love fires in the wood stove, cozy socks, my latest discovery of fingerless gloves, the glistening whiteness and sparkly purity of snow, being wrapped up and cozy and going into the nipping cold.
(Also I'm part of a writing/someday hopefully YouTube series, and the character that I play controls the snow. Which helps me love it even more. :) I'm going to do a post about the writing someday, but for now if you'd like to see the blog that it's being written on, the link is: www.danson.moushey.us)
But Autumn has a special place for me now. I'm really sensory aware and oriented, and Autumn is chock full of sensory joys. I love the colors of all the leaves! Every shade of orange, yellow, scarlet, red, brown, peach, maroon, purple... the list goes on and on. I love pulling out all the cold weather clothes (I actually found myself talking to my sweaters like they're old friends, I don't think I'm normal...). I love the cozy boots and sweaters and scarves. I love the crisp mornings and frost returning to draw snowflakes and ferns on everything, making the morning look sugar coated.
I love starting fires in the wood stove and hot apple cider. I love the smells of homemade applesauce, cinnamon, leaves, pumpkin, and wood burning.
Autumn makes me think of singing hymns in the kitchen with friends, taking long walks in the woods and crunching leaves underfoot, picking and chopping lots of apples, watching the sunset with a hot mug full of some type of tasty drink, thankfulness, harvest parties, maple syrup on pancakes, and canning fruit. It makes me think of the earth preparing to go to sleep for a while. It makes me think of poetry and Anne of Green Gables. It makes me think of being with loved ones and reading my Bible while wrapped up in a blanket.
It also reminds me of how my life is changing, because with Autumn comes the beginning of the school year, and this is my senior year of High School. After this year, I won't be doing High School, I'll be in "The Real World".
Something about me, is that I've never wanted to grow up. I've always had what my mom and kindred spirits fondly refer to as the "Peter Pan syndrome". When I was little, I wanted to go to Neverland; I was terrified of growing up, being an adult, but still enjoyed my childhood to the fullest, I never really had the ordinary little girl's dream of "being a big girl". But as I got older, I realized that I had to accept growing up; I didn't want to be the 27 year old who's a 14 year old wannabe. I had to leave childish things behind, but that was ok, because that season of my life is over, and a new season has come. I can't stay in the past, and if I really think about it, I don't want to. I don't want to stay in the same place, getting stagnant and never learning and growing.That doesn't mean I regret or dislike my childhood at all. I had an awesome childhood. SO many good memories, and I loved just about every second of it, and still find myself think about it frequently.
I accepted gaining maturity. I accepted having new responsibilities. I accepted the changes.
Some parts of growing up were terrifying and painful, but I grew from them, learned new lessons, and reaped the privileges and joys. It wasn't very easy for me at times. I struggled.
But I realized that if there are things I want to do, I have to prepare for them, and for many things, responsibility walks hand in hand with those little pleasures that do come with growing up. For instance, I wanted to go places, therefore, I had to learn to drive. (Which is something else I had been scared to tears about when I was younger) But I did, and now I have a whole new world open to me. One of my dreams has been to tour the states (or at least Washington), and now I technically could. :)
Another thing is that I would like to get married someday. I need to think about and prepare for it. I need to gain maturity and wisdom for that. I don't think that anyone is really ever fully ready and mature enough for marriage, it's a learning process, but I know for a fact that I have to work on some things in my life. Along with personal things, it would be helpful to learn more about running a home and taking care of finances, and any other things that I could bring into marriage that would bless it and my husband. Just general growing.
I'm a Dreamer. Very very thoroughly a Dreamer. Which isn't bad in any way necessarily, but if I'm going to be making a commitment to someone, I'm going to need to have my head out of the clouds and in the game.
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| Siblings, just FYI. |
Growing up doesn't mean I have to lose my sense of wonder. I've always had a HUGE streak of curiosity and a boundless sense of wonder, I've been known to stare at roses and leaves and peaches for hours upon hours if I have the time, which confuses my family, but makes sense to me. There are so many beautiful things all over the place...
Anyways, back to the subject :) Growing up doesn't mean you can't have fun and have to become a stuffy grown up. Growing up doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself. Growing up doesn't mean you have to stop dreaming, you just have come back to reality at times to balance it all out.
I found a quote the other day that reminded me of times when I had been less then cheerful about growing up and accepting responsibilities, and it hit me pretty hard:
"Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many."
I've been musing on it quite a bit lately. So good. I love different perspectives.
There are so many good sides to growing up, getting older and wiser, changing seasons. There are different situations, joys, pains, fears, challenges, responsibilities, opportunities. They're new and unfamiliar and scary, but I have wise people in my life who have been down these roads before. They know how to navigate these trails, and are willing to walk with me through them. I have a Heavenly Father who created them. He very definitely knows how to get us through it, and He loves to help us when we ask. I'm not alone. You aren't alone.
These are just things that have been on my mind recently, thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what you think if ever you'd like to chat in the comments.
Blessings,
~Gracie
